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4:45pm - Saturday, Jan 17, 2026
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
A missing patient. A demonic hamster. A cosmic hole in the bedroom ceiling. For Linda (Rose Byrne, who is receiving serious Oscar buzz following her win at the Golden Globes), life is a series of surreal catastrophes pointing to her failure as a working mother, and even her therapist (Conan O’Brien) is getting sick of her. Displaced in a purgatorial motel while her husband (Christian Slater) is away on business, Linda turns to weed, white wine, and holotropic breathing to cope with the bottomless void of need that is her daughter’s mysterious illness.
Shot on 35mm film, this darkly humorous psychological drama from writer-director-actor Mary Bronstein (YEAST) immerses us in Linda’s unraveling mental state as her heightened world collapses on itself. Drenched in anxiety and desperate fury, Rose Byrne’s top-notch performance is complemented by impeccable comedic timing from editor Lucian Johnston (MIDSOMMAR). Through extreme close-ups, a nerve-wracking soundscape, eerie ambient lighting, and visceral practical effects, IF I HAD LEGS I'D KICK YOU reflects the frantic perspective of a mother at the end of her rope.
"'If I Had Legs' aims high, and hits harder than most this year – a film guaranteed to knock the breath out of you." (Little White Lies)
"Anyone who checks out early will rob themselves of not only the most electric film of the year, but a lead performance that feels singular, towering, even generational." (Globe and Mail)
"It’s the kind of film that makes you want to call your own mother and apologize." (Rolling Stone Magazine)
Saturday, January 17
Doors 4:15 pm | Movie 4:45 pm *Start time subject to change. Please arrive on time.
IF I HAD LEGS I'D KICK YOU (Mary Bronstein, 2025 / 113 mins / 14A) With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.
Seating Arrangement
Seating charts reflect the general layout for the venue at this time. For some events, the layout and specific seat locations may vary without notice.